Back in high school – or even in college – I got decent grades for my subjects in Filipino. At one point, I even got the top prize in an on-the-spot tula writing contest. What I couldn’t quite figure out is why they call it Filipino when most of it is Tagalog. Spare me the history lecture though – I’m just stressing a point here. I don’t object to having Tagalog as a national language but just allow me to call a spade a spade. You call it Filipino but from where I sit, it’s still Tagalog.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not inviting some needless debates here. Being a true-blue bisdak (short for bisayang dako or my translation: bigtime bisaya), I’m just trying to ventilate this personal concern: my Tagalog or more particularly: my Tagalog with Cebuano inflection.
I could get around talking to foreigner clients in English but when I converse with some tagalog-speaking ones, I couldn’t help feeling a bit conscious. Not that they are of loftier origins, it’s just this second language forced on me since childhood – most of which I never get to use.
I remembered asking my tagalog friend in review school, “Pare, pahiram nga ng aklat mo?” I couldn’t quite picture that surprised-turned-frowning-turned-confused-turned-amused look in his face anymore. “Aklat, pare?” I was glad I didn’t follow it up with, “Punta muna ako sa silid-aralan, pare.”
One bisdak guy committed the worst howler, “Manang, pabili nga ng sigarilyo, gitna lang.” You could not possibly draw the grimace from that lady’s face. “Ano?!” My bisdak friend, replied, “Gitna lang ba…Tunga!! Half! Half-pak… aw…hati pala… gui-ahak ani uyi!.”
When I speak tagalog, I do it however with a much dignified Cebuano accent. My wife, a good tagalog-speaker had no qualms poking fun at it. But behold my bisdak friends, I do not feel the tiniest bit of ignominy, much less, diffidence as in fact I am proud of how I speak it – the only way a real bisaya would. I join the ranks of the great. Are you not in awe with the granite-like, sturdy, and solid accent of Pimentel, of former senator Ernesto Herrera? How about that flinty, Herculean intonation of Cerge Remonde, or better still, of Manny Pacquiao? Ha!
So when I chanced upon this e-mail this morning, I laughed hard reading it. It is a sampler of English words translated into Bisaya with a twist of Tagalog. If you don’t get it, chances are, you’re not a bisdak.
1) Contemplate - gamay ra ang plato
2) Punctuation - para bayad sa skuylahan
3) Ice Buko - nindot akong buhok?
4) Tenacious - sapatos pang tennis
5) Calculator - tawagan taka unya
6) Devastation - terminal sa bus
7) Protestant - tindahan ug prutas
8) Statue - ikaw ba na?
9) Tissue - ikaw gyud diay!
10) Predicate - buhi-e ang iring
11) Dedicate - patya ang iring
12) Aspect - para dugmok sa ice
13) Deduct - ang itik
14) Defeat - ang tiil (sa itik)
15) Detail - ang ikog (sa itik)
16) Deposit - ang gripo (Call DIPLOMA if
DEPOSIT is leaking)
17) City - sunod sa 6
18) Cattle - pina-akan sa lamok
19) Persuading - pinaka una nga kasal
20) Depress - ang nag misa sa kasal
22) Defense - gamit para pirma sa kontrata sa PERSUADING
23) It depends - kaona ang koral
24) Shampoo - sunod sa 9 before sa 11 (klaro ana!)
25) Profit - pakita og ibidensya!
26) Balance Sheet - what comes out after eating a balanced diet
27) Backlog - bacon og itlog
28) Beehive - pag puyo!
29) CD-ROM - tan-awa ang kwarto
30) Debug - ang mananap
31) Defrag - ang baki
32) Defense - ang koral
33) Defer - ang balhibo
34) Deflate - ang plato
35) Detest - ang eksamin
36) Devalue - ang sunod sa leter V
37) Devote - ang boto
38) Dilemma - ngit-ngita oi!
39) Effort - asa mo landing ang airplane
40) Forums - upat ka kwarto
41) July - namakak ka?
42) Thesis - kani ay!
(I would have loved to acknowledge the original author of this splendid linguistic travesty, but this was just a forwarded message.)
German, huh? I wonder if your friend loves bratwurst more than longganiza. She probably idolizes schumacher more than pacquiao. 
hehehe she is very much pinay when it comes to food and other stuff… just dont let her speak in tagalog. bisak gyud kaayo.
sure, no probs about the link. it would be an honor…you have an interesting blog here Atty.
i would link you up as well.
DEPOSIT - THE FAUCET. Hilarious!
Posted by RT Cunningham at April 29, 2007, 1:12 amCarey - thanks!!
RT - Weird, what got me laughing so hard is no. 26.
I almost died laughing.
Posted by aryo at April 30, 2007, 1:47 pmAll comments are moderated. Your comments will not appear here unless approved by the blog owner. Thank you.
He is Atty. Alan F. Siu - a thirty-something practicing lawyer based in Cebu City, Philippines. He also teaches at a local law school. His practice includes litigation, as well as corporate and tax consultancy. He likes to write. He just found out about blogging and decided to make it his welcome diversion. As much as possible, he veers from writing about Philippine politics (and politicians) which he looks down with utter disapprobation but ...on second thought - he might be tempted to scrawl up some lampoonery on the matter after all.
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"When you are down and out, something always turns up—and it is usually the noses of your friends." - Orson Welles
hehehe… nalingaw ko sa translation, i think i got an email similar to this before.
i have a bisdak friend (from mindanao) who doesn’t like to speak in tagalog. i guess she isn’t comfortable with it. one time, i invited her to a gathering and everybody was talking in tagalog, it was hard for her to converse with them, she told me “mas sayon pa nako mag-german kaysa mag-tinagalog.” i guess she wasn’t kidding me, coz she took german lessons that time.
by the way, thanks for dropping by ideasnpink!
Posted by carey at April 27, 2007, 12:15 am