(Imagine a guilt-stricken trapo writing this letter.)
Dear Voter,
I write this letter in order to plead with you not to vote for me. I am a hollow sham, a great pretender. When I firmly shake your hand, smile at you, and look you straight in the eye, do not feel elated like a hapless showbiz fanatic for I will forget you as fast as my eyes shift its gaze unto the next person.
Know that this is an ordeal for me. Truth is – I can’t bear the smell of your breath, and of your fetid body reeking with perspiration evident of a day’s cheap labor and unforgiving summer heat. Deep beneath my seemingly genuine smile is that burning need to go back to my SUV and drench my hands with rubbing alcohol.
I detest listening to your gripes about your unfortunate conditions but I have to pretend to be sincerely concerned. I want to convince you that I feel your pain, that I am not ignorant of your sorry situation, and that I am here ready to help you. I want you to believe that I am your savior and that I have the answers that will lift you from the throes of poverty.The truth is – I don’t have the real answers. I only feed on your undying hope, your admirable tolerance, and your artless optimism that the rehashed promises would soon be fulfilled if given the chance to serve you.
I want to remind you of the many things I provided you with – the ambulance, the skywalks, garbage bins, the numerous basketball courts, monuments, decorative lamps, etc. I have to, lest you forget my generosity, despite the fact that all of these bear my name preceded by the words “THRU THE EFFORTS OF____.” I am not even satisfied with pictures of me splattered all over the place accompanied with encouraging words, or words to welcome guests to our town.
I don’t have to reveal to you the staggering costs of these projects – all at government expense. I don’t have to tell you that the money spent could have been used to fund more important and essential, albeit less popular, projects. Of course, it would be imprudent of me to admit how (personally) lucrative those projects are. (How else could I buy that new SUV at my salary?)
Come election time, don’t be dazzled by that few pesos I give you in order to get your vote. I know it is enough to buy a full day’s meal for your family but please I beg you – don’t be tempted. I tell you – your vote is way, way more valuable than that. Hah! I could already smell those juicy contracts from here.
The truth is – you don’t need me. But I need you. I need your vote. The stakes are too high. I cannot afford to lose the lifestyle that I and my family already enjoyed. I very much dread the thought of turning over the reins of power to a rival family. Worse still, though highly unlikely – I might be defeated by someone popular for his genuine integrity, honesty and competence. For if I lose now, I might not be able to come back.
You see, I am a sham, a thick-faced hypocrite whose paramount interest is his own. If you still vote for me then I thank you for your sheer credulity.
Very truly yours,
Mr. T. R. Apo (sgd)
Dear Mr. T.R. Apo
Thank you for your letter and for your candid revelation of whom and what you truly are. Prior to you being elected, I am familiar with your background and already have a conjecture of what the city would be like under your governance; more of the same old crap. When I shake your hand at the rallies or on your campaign trail, it is not a confirmation that you have my vote but more of a feeling that I have shaken the hand of a distinguished man/woman; or so I think. And when I see your face in the TV or in the newspaper, I can brag to my friends and acquaintances that I got the chance to shook your hand at one point.
We are sick of your broken promises and I know you could not care less; otherwise you would have been mindful of our request to fix our broken roads..for the last ___ years! Your complete disregard probably what prompted you to stop coming to our fiesta celebration so as not to ruin your shiny SUV by driving through potholes.
I know you don’t have the answers to the growing problems in our city, and I even doubted if you even acknowledge them; because frankly speaking you don’t have a clue how to run a city. The only way you can save us is by not running….again. Give the others who sincerely have the heart and passion in serving our community. But I know that is next to impossible from happening, but I’ll keep my hopes alive.
I envy the materials things and luxurious lifestyle you have but never for one moment did I resent the satisfaction I get from having a good company of people compared to yours. Most of your “followers” are only there while you’re in power in case you don’t know that yet but mine will be with me no matter what.
Although I have never really cast my vote for you I shall continue taking the small change you give on election day. At least I get a share of that pork barrel you misappropriated.
Now, you might ask how can I have the audacity to write you like this? My answer is plain and simple: I still believe that in politics, an organized minority is a political majority.
Sincerely,
Juan Basahan
Posted by richard at April 12, 2007, 10:17 pmThis is a good one ‘chard. Without your permission i’m going to post it as another article. Hope you don’t mind. You’re a good writer. I suggest that you also start your own blog so we link each other up. YOu have lots of interesting thoughts i’m sure.
Posted by siu at April 13, 2007, 11:29 amAll comments are moderated. Your comments will not appear here unless approved by the blog owner. Thank you.
Prior to you being elected, I am familiar with your background and already have a conjecture of what the city would be like under your governance; more of the same old crap. When I shake your hand at the rallies or on your campaign trail, it is not a confirmation that you have my vote but more of a feeling that I have shaken the hand of a distinguished man/woman; or so I think. And when I see your face in the TV or in the newspaper, I can brag to my friends and acquaintances that I got the chance to shook your hand at one point.
We are sick of your broken promises and I know you could not care less; otherwise you would have been mindful of our request to fix our broken roads..for the last ___ years! Your complete disregard probably what prompted you to stop coming to our fiesta celebration so as not to ruin your shiny SUV by driving through potholes.
I know you don’t have the answers to the growing problems in our city, and I even doubted if you even acknowledge them; because frankly speaking you don’t have a clue how to run a city. The only way you can save us is by not running….again. Give the others who sincerely have the heart and passion in serving our community. But I know that is next to impossible from happening, but I’ll keep my hopes alive.
I envy the materials things and luxurious lifestyle you have but never for one moment did I resent the satisfaction I get from having a good company of people compared to yours. Most of your “followers” are only there while you’re in power in case you don’t know that yet but mine will be with me no matter what.
Although I have never really cast my vote for you I shall continue taking the small change you give on election day. At least I get a share of that pork barrel you misappropriated.
Now, you might ask how can I have the audacity to write you like this? My answer is plain and simple: I still believe that in politics, an organized minority is a political majority.
Sincerely,
Juan Basahan
Posted by richard at April 12, 2007, 10:15 pm